第401章 嘴张开
90书院(90shuyuan.com)更新快,无弹窗!
还是没立刻回答,雾在两个人之间慢慢淌着,冷得刺骨,湿得黏人,像是有什么东西藏在雾里低低地啜泣。过了很久,久到江晨的腿都麻得失去知觉了,那东西才开口,四个字轻轻落下来——
"因为你没绝望。"江晨又愣住了:"我见过很多人,很多人也想知道答案,也一直在找,可他们找着找着就累了,累了就放弃,放弃了就开始绝望,我见过太多绝望的人了,多到我都快忘了不绝望到底是什么感觉。"它顿了顿,"可你没有。"
江晨还是没说话,他不知道该说什么。
"你找答案不是为了非要找到不可,你找答案只是因为你想找,你不着急,不害怕,不绝望,你觉得找不到也没关系,找不到就先活着,活着就接着找。"
江晨在心里默默想了想——好像确实是这么回事,他从没觉得自己有多勇敢多坚定,他就是没想过要放弃,没想过要找多久,没想过能不能找到,没想过找不到怎么办,就是找,找一天算一天。
"这就是我来找你的原因。"那东西说。"为什么?""因为我想知道。"那东西的声音忽然变了,变得有点不一样,"我不知道该怎么活着,我只知道毁灭,我觉得活着没有意义,活着就是受苦,不如毁了算了。可你不一样,你活着也找不到意义,可你还是好好活着,你活着不是因为有希望,是因为……你不在乎有没有希望。"
江晨听懂了:虚不理解他,可虚想理解他。"这就是答案吗?活着本来就不需要希望?"
那东西没回答,就静静站在那里,白雾顺着它的轮廓慢慢流过去。过了很久,久到江晨以为它不会回答了,它才开口,四个轻轻的字:"我不知道。"
轻得像一缕飘走的叹息:"可我想知道。"
江晨看着它模糊的轮廓,忽然觉得它其实没那么可怕了——它就是一块碎片,一个绝望了太久的碎片,一个忘了当初为什么找答案的碎片,一个想死又不敢死、想活又不知道怎么活的碎片,跟他一样,只不过比他更迷茫罢了。
"那你跟着我。"江晨问。那东西看着他,没说话,可江晨觉得自己已经听见了回答:它要跟着他,不是为了毁灭他,也不是为了非要一起找到答案,就是想看看,看看他到底是怎么活着的,看看不绝望到底是什么样子,看看活着除了毁灭,还有什么别的可能。
"随你便。"江晨说,"但我有条件。"
那东西还是看着他。"不许动我的人。"沉默,"不许吓他们。"还是沉默,"还有,不许在我睡着的时候站在我窗户底下。"
那东西终于有了动静,好像愣了一下:"……那是别人。"
"你说什么?""那天晚上站在你窗户底下的不是我。"那东西说,"是另一个它来找你,跟我没关系,我只是跟着你过来的,我一直都跟着你。"
另一个。不是虚,是另一个东西,是另一个碎片,还是别的什么?江刚想问,雾忽然一下子散了——不是慢慢散开,是一下子就没了,像是有人在幕后一把拽走了幕布,所有的雾都消失得干干净净,阳光一下子照下来,亮得刺眼。江晨忍不住眯起了眼睛。
等他再睁开眼睛,那东西已经不见了,消失得干干净净,像是从来都没出现过。只剩下他一个人站在空地上,面前还是那棵长满眼睛的树,树洞还是开着,里面黑漆漆的,可里面什么声音都没有了——那些哭声、救命声、绝望的呼喊全都消失了,只剩下一片死寂,死一般的寂静。
江晨站在原地,看着那棵树,掌心里的眼睛不知道什么时候又闭上了,像是重新睡着了。耳朵里也安安静静的——不是那种隔绝了所有声音的安静,是暴风雨之前那种压得人心里发慌的安静。他知道,有东西要来了,那个"另一个",那个夜里站在他窗户底下的东西,那个不是虚的东西,它还会来找他,有别的事情,可到底是什么事?江晨现在还不知道,但他觉得自己很快就会知道了。
他低头看了看自己的左手
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