第984章 滚刀小王子
90书院(90shuyuan.com)更新快,无弹窗!
面对我“啪”的就地一躺,叫乔铁炉的老头举起的拐棍瞬间僵在半空中,满脸挂满不可思议,明显是被我给整不会了。
吹牛逼呢!
在耍无赖、不要脸这个领域,至今我滚刀小王子还没碰上过像样的对手。
想当年我后妈刚嫁进门那阵儿,老子那才叫真正的渡劫,人生经历简直就是部活生生的“滚刀肉成长史”。
打一睁开眼就挨骂,碗没刷干净必挨打,就连看电视换个台都得瞧她的脸色。
为了少受点洋罪,我见天“妈长妈短”地围着她转,她一皱眉我就鞠躬,她一瞪眼我立马下跪,端茶倒水比伺候祖宗还上心。
就乔铁炉这点鸡毛道行,跟我后妈比起来,那简直就是开玩乐,差着十万八千里外加一只孙猴咂!
果然,乔铁炉杵在原地沉默了足足能有十几秒,才赶忙拄着拐杖往旁边挪了挪身子,生怕沾着我的边。
“少跟我耍这些臭无赖!赶紧把我孙子交出来,不然我饶不了你!”
喘息几口,老头再次怒吼。
“你准备怎么饶不了我啊?”
我四脚朝天躺在地上,脑袋枕在俩胳膊上,勾起二郎腿,不屑的反问:“咋的?你孙子是克隆羊多莉呗,你说要我就能马上给你造一个出来?就算我有那本事,他奶奶能乐意配合吗?你孙子丢了跟我们有个球关系?你该报警就报警,乐意起诉就起诉呗,不能凭着年龄大搁我们公司耍混蛋呐!”
“警察来了..”
“嘘,小点声儿。”
真是晚上不唠鬼,白天不说人,我才刚起个话头,就看见几个身穿制服的帽子叔叔从门口走了进来。
周边围观的男男女女们,有的小声议论,有的识趣的往后倒退,生怕被牵连进来。
带队的帽子叔叔走在最前面,大概三十多岁,走到我跟前,厉声道:“干什么呢?躺在地上像什么样子!赶紧起来!”
“同志啊,我天为被、地为床的躺地上没犯法吧?不能因为这给无期、枪毙了吧?”
我动都没动,依旧懒洋洋地躺在地上,甚至还伸了个懒腰。
“龙哥..”
“小龙哥,快起来吧,咱们报的警。”
李叙文和钱鹏赶紧凑上前,一脸焦急的想把我薅起来。
“谁也别碰我昂!”
我避开他们的手,轻飘飘道:“哥们纯属傻小子睡凉炕,全凭火力壮!最近身上火气太旺,躺地上拔拔凉,不犯毛病吧?”
说罢,我又冷哼一声,转向乔铁炉:“老头,我可告诉你,今天算你运气旺,没碰我一根头发丝,但凡你刚才动我一下,不给你们乔家讹到倾家荡产、集体要饭,我算你们家里余粮多!”
“同志啊,其实你们来早啦,要不先回去?我再跟他们好好说道说道,兄弟这身体自带降温系统,纯天然、无污染,既没扰民,又没违法,法律里没规定不许膈应人吧?”
我又看向几个帽子叔叔咧嘴一笑。
乔铁炉的老脸气得通红,嘴唇哆嗦着,却一句话都说不出来,他大概真没料到,我居然能无赖到这种地步,连“叔叔们”来了也不怕。
带队的警察皱了皱眉,大概是觉得跟我在这儿耗着也不是办法,于是蹲下身:“同志,有什么事咱们起来好好说,躺在地上解决不了问题,如果真有纠纷,咱们到派出所去,我保证给你们公平公正的调解,怎么样?”
我看了看警察,又看了看气得浑身发抖的乔铁炉,心里琢磨着,再耗下去也没啥大意思,既然帽子叔叔都这么说了,不如就借坡下驴,顺便再敲打敲打这老梆子。
于是我慢悠悠地坐起身,故意叹了口气:“行吧,看在您的面子上,我就起来!不过老东西啊,我今儿把话撂在这儿了,但凡你再特么跑项目部找麻烦,小爷我可就不是躺地上这么简单了!”
乔铁炉咬着牙,恨恨地瞪了我一眼。
见我爬起来了,帽子叔叔也松了口气,招呼乔铁炉一起去派出所,把事情的来龙去脉讲清楚。
...
郝庄派出所的调解室没多大,统共十多平米,一张木桌、几把木椅。
到地方以后,我往椅子上一瘫,烟卷叼在嘴角,脑袋歪向一边,脚在地上轻轻抖动,俨然一副混不吝的小流氓模样。
乔铁炉老头坐在对面,拐杖戳得地面“咚咚”作响,直愣愣指向我:“就是他们鲲鹏集团!一直想低价拆我们家祖宅,我没答应,就把我孙子藏起来啦!”
“搁啥藏的?往哪藏啊,你孙子是冰棍还是猪头肉?不会说话不会动呗,我要藏他,他就那么配合?”
我歪嘴一笑。
“老先生,您指控他藏起您孙子,有什么证据吗?比如目击者、聊天记录,或者其他能证明的东西?”
负责调解的警察同志赶紧往前凑了凑,打断我俩。
“我...我...我有
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